sooo how much is appropriate to spend on a vibrator? what if it is really legit looking?
none of my boyfriends are responding right now, I thought I had enough to avoid this problem
I could have mohawked her pubes.
She said "You blew my mind last night." and I said "nah, I just blew my load." and her mom heard.
At the doctor. They're doing a flu test now. He was like "where do you think you got this?" I said "bachelor party. Strippers." he goes "okaaaay I'll put 'other'."
I didnt realize til after I got out of her apartment and into the lobby that we lived in the same building.
Note to self: don't jizz on a surface cleaned with Tilex. It WILL turn purple.
in the event i get tipsy, my nipples are your responsibility
he left his wallet here so lets treat ourselves to a lunch for the lack of penis we both had deal with
Yeah man it sucked balls. People on the bus probably thought I was fucking crazy. I was fetal position, taking up two seats with no shame whilst simultaneously panting.
It hurts to hear and I can smell shapes.
If you don't wanna wax my ass just say so.
I love how my parents bring water bottles filled with vodka on family trips
Well... Chad blew off half of his hand last night. We were able to find most of it.
She grabbed a $20 bill out of my hand, calling it a lap dance coupon and then she dragged me into her bedroom. I think I’m in love
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