Terrible. Enormous nipples with a small ring of boob on the outside. It looked like a tittie eclipse
No, I'm never going to get a job bc I don't know anything about public relations except that Chris Crocker wants everyone to leave Britney alone.
Holy shit. Do you realize what this means? Officially all of my ex-bfs are either dead or gay
pretty sure I offered to blow her dad. she's not speaking to me & he won't stop winking at me.
Everyone makes mistakes, yours just means you will forever be known as the chick that tried to steal a cheese plate from the funeral.
she tried to handfeed me fritos while yelling "PENIS TRAIN"
I guess I could probably fit that in between deep self reflection and teenage mutant ninja turtles
ted dressed as a cardinal led an expedition across campus. i felt like one of the 12 apostles.
Less adorably, the dog stared me down, yelping, while I gave him a morning blowie.
The quality of my porn watching experience has significantly declined. Thanks shattered iphone screen
My brother really should've known better than to make me go egg hunting with his daughter when I was entirely too drunk to do so. Threw up in a plant in front of her.
So will your sis find it a compliment if I tell her I lost out on some awesome dick to go to her bday dinner???
..and by hang out i don't mean fucking then going back home i mean let's get something to eat & watch a movie and fuck sometime in between.
We got high, had sex, and watched retro scooby doo shows. Best friends with benefits yet.
Sorry I fucked your cousin. Again. I just wanted him to take me on his boat.
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