I told him I'm not paying rent anymore because he's seen my boobs.
Sooo, his balls are like... bigger than my head...
I jsut got pulled over and passed the sobritaty test.
Good thing spelling doesn't count.
sitting in class between the roommates of the two girls i fucked over break. this feels like a bad version of wife swap
my mom sold the house because of the grow room the couple saw i had in the basement.
Ok lesson learned. Don't lick the spoon when making mushroom chocolates. The kitchen walls are melting.
she said we were using the spray butter as air freshener
He left his shoes, boxers and socks at my house & managed to walk home to his dorm without realizing anything was missing until 3 days after. That's the last time i'll ever hook up with a freshman.
Im glad the only reason we got out of bed today was to get Halloween candy on sale.
For sure. Gotta go. Building an igloo.
It is a sign that I need a fresh start when Kelly Clarksons new album tells the story of my life.
Jesus himself couldn't make a better sandwich
White girls? They're everywhere. In packs. Drunk white girl packs.
You're too young to have this sort of Grizzled Old Drunk In Roadside Bar wisdom.
I feel like my vagina was just in a fistfight.
Randomize
