he was dropping me off and i told him i had to go to the bathroom and i leaned into kiss him and he asked how i went to the bathroom with a tampon up there... he was amazed that their was a third hole...and wanted me to show him where it was
You were so drunk you tried to sell your salsa to everyone on the restaurant.
The story about him having a girlfriend changed real fast when he found out that I was a gymnast
Everything that you guys said happened came back to me. like a tidal wave of regret.
And next time please put a text between discussing my orgasms and discussing your son - that was weird.
Considering adding a large amount of vodka to my tomato cup-a-soup at work. Save me.
While all the other girls were trying to out skut the next, Cameron was just doing cartwheels around the bar. I think she's the only one who got laid.
Is everyone touching their nose at me a sign that I should stop snorting vicodin off my phone in the bathroom at school?
Two shots of gin says this is gonna be a sloppy lab write up.
It's gay pride, I'm in my EMT uniform getting more girls than your straight ass ever will..
She proposed we share a dildo. Hopefully she was joking.
I fucked R2D2 last night. I consider Star Wars day a success.
HE WAS CUMMING IN THAT DICK PIC
After 3 parties, all of them busted, and 4 field sobriety tests, I AM the cop whisperer
He said they were his favorite shoes.. So I threw one down the sewer. Now he'll keep searching the house for the other one. Sweet silent revenge.
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