Ill do this for you.
You are a team player.
This is me making up for not putting my tongue inside you more.
I just hope this isn't happening Final Destination style
Travis Barker would totally be Devon Sawa in this scenario
I woke up this morning and the first thing i saw was the harry potter tattoo on his left butt cheek.
i think i got so emotional from a mix of getting my period and slapping the bag like five times
i swear, as soon as they invent a cure for herpes, he's mine.
The key to alley sex is drunkeness.
On monday, while we were having crazy monkey sex, I earned $82. Vacation pay rocks.
seriously considering responding to a craigslist ad for a lesbian cunninlingus instructor...at this point i'm so desperate for a job that i'm willing to switch teams.
I ate cinnamon toast crunch. I'm officially out of the puke zone. Blackout drunk Friday. WHAT IS GOOD.
im like basted in vodka, i went tanning and it was like i was an alcoholic turkey being cooked in a locker of doom
I NEED TO GET TO THE PLAYGROUND. I JUST NEED TO SWING. IF I SWING MAYBE THE SMELL WILL COME OFF OF ME. I NEED TO SWING
Wearing a shark mask, slugging tequilla, in cowboy boots, and not minding that my spandex is on backwards. What are you up to?
Dude, if I don't end up wearing a banana suit in Milwaukee, I will consider that trip a complete failure.
I can now recognize that when my wine bottle reaches a certain point, I probably shouldn't tweet, text or call anyone. RESPONSIBILITY
I wouldn't call us friends exactly. Honestly I just hang out with him so I can hit on his girlfriend. They won't last long, and I'll be there to pick up the scraps
Randomize