No, I'm only going to drink half my paycheck. That's the responsible thing to do.
I am pretty sure I told him the clouds were earth's purest filtration system and that snow was the rarest and most delicious water in the world. My lips are burning because we ate so much.
this chick on a show just showed her boobs and let some guy paint them others asked why she did it and her reply i quote "i was bored" why dont chicks get bored more often
I had a dream last night that you and me were eating cheesecake and according to my FATHER I was moaning really loud in my sleep. I seriously have issues.
Game over. He has a paternity test request on his table.
Please don't drown this weekend. It would be a shame to lose a dick like yours.
I shouldn't have to say "get your balls off my counter" on a Wednesday.
No. Cease was criminally insane from birthday shots, and not a lot of women want to go home from the bar with a guy who wants to "snuggle but keep it strictly professional".
A little light bondage fun never hurt anybody (erotic asphyxiation excluded). Car batteries attached to reproductive organs have.
Making drunken Mac n cheese at 3 am I understand why witches constantly stir their cauldrons. Much more homogenized temperature and slim chance of boiling over. Good job witches.
I feel like I missed the land of milk and honey and instead wound up in the land of beer and pizza. And yet, I think I'm happier here.
My liver is fucking rocky. Get knocked down 7 times and gets up 8. World champ
Could be all of this cough syrup, but I’m ready to fuck 2018 up!
I got a message the other day that just said “great tits”
A gentleman AND a scholar
I only have sex with you to have a memory to masturbate to.
Randomize
