So how Liz Lemon is this? I bring a boy home, we get in bed, and I realize there's a lean pocket wrapper in the sheets.
I just put lube in Matt's bellybutton. He looks unhappy.
Her vagina felt like a horse was eating an apple out of my hand..
I had to puke in a pizza box on the drive home. People saw.
Shit sorry. Maybe I wont give you this sweet ass fanny pack I found in my parents attic
The stripper from Delilahs paid the desk clerk to find out my room #. Either Im doin something very right or she's doing it worng.
Saw a guy pass out and hit his head on a urinal. Laughing too hard to help him up
I just keep sniffing it hoping for an explanation.
If you wanna be a real wingman, create some insecurity and comment on that pic of all the hot girls with "Id do every girl in this pic.. except the fat one".
lesson #1 of freshman year: grinding with a sombrero is difficult
She asked for her virginity back. I don't know what to say
Also the fuck cup must be buried with me
Fuck you fireball...just straight up fuck out of here
I'm hoarding IKEA meatballs in my purse
Okay, let's just all take a step back and think about how funny this will seem in like a year... Maybe 2 if his nose is actually broken.
Randomize
