I have the sudden urge to buy a Snuggie and wear it to the grocery store.
even my worst enemy doesn't deserve a bush like that
I am far too drunk to be making a tuna melt . There's blood EVERYWHERE.
i saw his dick when we were four, so thats kind of ruined for me now
I don't know what you're talking about but its dick galore in the tub. We will be getting poked tonight. Bring forks.
its so hard to text. the buttons are tickling my fingers
Do what your heart wants. . .
My heart wants to rip his balls off and tie therm to his head using his penis
She just walked up to him and was like "you should fuck Angela" and it worked! She is the ultimate wingman
The night got interesting when the random guy next to us handed us a bottle of champagne and the rest of his ciroc bottle. When we asked why he did it, he proceeded to point at his friend who face planted the floor.
Do you know how much wine is in a box of wine? Not so much an amount, but whether it will kill me if I drink the entire box this xmas
He was very considerate of my needs, he offered me pizza before and after.
I told you for Halloween we just need to let the loins free! Let the girth come to us in a flock, drenched with passion!
She asked me if I would fuck her with my storm trooper mask on
YOU CANT JUST BLOW GUYS BC THEY’RE NICE TO YOU LEXI
I CAN IF I WANT TO
What time is our conjugal visit?
Umm...who is this?
Randomize
