My cousin just asked what abortion is. Happy Holidays.
Just jerked off to Cameron Diaz in "My Sister's Keeper". New low.
The difference between what I would do for a regular Klondike bar and an Oreo flavored Klondike bar is astounding
No you are right. With a nickname like Monster Cock, you shouldn't expect him to want to "just talk". I'd be insulted too
oh and i'm sorry i sold you for three cigarettes last night
I pretty much have hash tequila and gelato for dinner every night
You were outside the bathroom the gay guy was puking in, screaming "IT GETS BETTER!" over and over again. Good message, poor execution.
Just so you know swallowing does not help chest colds. Your Phd can suck my dick
Best oral ever, hands down so to speak. but I'm starting to want to meet that lesbian truck driver he says he's better than. Just for comparison purposes of course.
Who the fuck did i sell my right shoe to last night i need to get that back im not walking with one shoe on
So yeah, don't be alarmed when you come home after work to find me eating cookie dough out of a margarita glass with a knife and watching The Little Mermaid. It's been one of those days.
do you ever just look around and think about how great it is to have depth perception? Like it's really, really cool when u think about it
He said when the pizza came I zip locked one slice and went to the couch and snuggled with it. Does that give you an idea of how my night was?
So, I just found out Ireland, is #1 in binge drinking. I know its Sunday but this one is for America.
You should not be involved with someone who smells like that. Because that smell seriously does not go away. Even if you can't actually smell it at any given point, it will still haunt you
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