I glued a penny on the door Tricia believes its Patrick Swayze haunting our apartment. Fuckin potheads.
He's sitting on the floor holding his bracket and crying, literally crying... he just keeps saying "Kansas how could you?" over and over
My own mom unfriended me on Facebook.
I just learned you can mail a coconut. I'll be over in 3 days with the rum.
Jessi just used the excuse "it's not you it's me" to get out of getting a lap dance.
Dontating $10 to the Red Cross relief effort in Japan for every car bomb I take tomorrow. Yes, buying me a drink just became a good cause.
I'm in the "I'd rather have Carbs than Dick phase" part of my Life right now. YOU tell me how much Skinny Sex I'm having.
You were being mean. And telling everyone to suck your six inch strap on. People were not pleased
Please be lying.
Im not. Your family was creeped out
I don't know where he learned to eat pussy but I thought I was going blind
I got high with the cantor. Rethinking this whole non-practicing Jew thing.
Oh, that was the alley that I ate a pine cone in.
No,she came up with a new game: "Where is the most interesting place I can show Drew my asshole?"
I found a Trump-humping republican virgin born on the goddamn Fourth of July. I NEED to hate-fuck him.
The married guy I've been fucking broke it off because I'm not a trump supporter and don't share his "traditional values".
I brought my porn computer to class by accident
How much porn do you watch if you need a special computer?
Randomize
