Who goes to Church hungover
Those who weren't lucky enough to go still drunk
you're like the ceasar milan of boners... you understand them on a different level.
Banned from zoo.
Again?
so I told him I hadn't been laid since Bush was president. Right after he cums, he says "Welcome to the Obama Administration".
Ever since I discovered that youporn works on blackberry, my brickbreaker skills have gone to shit
So tasty. Tasty like a vagina with ninjas in it
Holy mother of cocks. I was grind-with-my-boss drunk last night.
Why have they been driving around the block for the past 30 min?
He told her it was international road head day.
Listen, you need to start thinking with your vagina and not with your heart... That emotional shit is for your 30s.
You can't tell me you've honestly NEVER considered smoking a Froot Loop
I'm on the bus, watching a girl shush her balloons.
I wanna come do a blessing for your apartment. And by that I mean I want to drink a lot of whiskey and watch ancient aliens in your apartment
I danced shirtless on a platform with a fucking stripper who went to MIT
Man, it's really obvious that I was either handcuffed or tied up last night. Either way, not something you'd want coworkers knowing.
My drug dealer was just on ESPN..
Randomize
