If I was Danny Tanner and my wife died and left me with three kids I would hire a nanny rather than bringing in the sexually promiscuos uncle with a fetish for leather and rebellion and my obviously mentally ill (possibly gay) best friend Joey, who has never had a girlfriend and consistently talks in cartoon voices... a nanny is just a better choice
why do they call them blowjobs? ....unless i'm doing it wrong?
Today in psych we learned that you are a whore.
Me specifically?
Yep.
We just saw him running from campus police a few minutes ago. So no, I don't think he's still passed out on the quad.
This is so stupid. Now I have to call the party planner and tell her that the break up party is off. They decided to get back together.
Just had a stripper snatch my glasses off my face with her ass
Guess who just screamed "Everything happens for a reason!!" in the abortion clinic. This girl.
Someone posted a printout of my tits on my door this morning! Where did they get this photo!?!
I just realized I haven't had a date or a potential possibility of a date in about a year. Then I realized I wanted to actually go on a date. But I'm sitting here getting high instead of being at a party. Life.
Came home plastered at 8am. Roommate had hot glued all the ashtrays and various items to their surfaces. Couldn't handle it. Went back to the bar.
He wins the giant teddy bear for getting the neuva ring on the dick
Cocaine is ok on a cleanse, right?
I 100% barfed while bumping the DMX remix of reading rainbow
We both shit in the same closet in Santa Fe. Nothing is sacred anymore.
I don't even know if he's actually hot or just hot because he plays hockey..
You did not just say that.
Randomize
