She is only going home with him in hopes to give him herpes. She has been plotting some master revenge since 7th grade.
We're smoking a joint the size of the average penis right now. I may not survive.
Remember when we pinky swore we'd never feel hungover alone...
I may have made out with a tranny last night, which, if I don't get fired for everything else that happened, really makes last night epic.
Well at one point he got ahold of my archery gear.. And I. Shit. You. Not. Sarah took an arrow to the knee.
Holy hangover, going dancing with family good idea, taking the last shot with the transvestite bar owner not so much...
For context, I was hiding under the pong table mooing at everyone by that point.
I have my vibrator between my thighs and I'm listening to high school musical. That kind of high. We're all in this together.
I don't know which I need first...a shower or a confessional.
You ran into the tattoo shop screaming PIERCE MY TITIES
she was puking nonstop out of the car window in the rain during our hour long drive back, we got lot of honks
I'm really ok with inappropriate relationships. They are my favorite of all the relationships. No need to be timid. For crying out loud.
SOS... STANDING IN THE BAR NEXT TO MY BF AND THE GUY WHO I HOOKED UP WITH ON CHRISTMAS DAY..
I'd love you more if you were covered in hot cheetos
how do I say, without sounding slutty... That I can take a dick?
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