What happened to our ballroom dancing plans
nothing i could have done in life could have prepared me for walking in on her SHITTING on my rug.
Needless to say there is no second date for this girl.
yet...
The woman in front of me has a completely clear purse. I can see everything. It's ballsy because her vagisil is on display.
He had rug burn on his nose from my landing strip
He's warming up to shark week, by only eating fish and drinking vodka, and all the time he keeps yelling "death to the seals!"
After walking in on us in the living room, he still insisted that he slept in my bed with me afterwards.
I've been thinking about it and if we ever have a threesome it'll start off with us clothed solely in our matching fur vests
so he woke up after being passed out and yelled that he had brought back moon rocks for everybody...
This is the first time since last march I'm gonna be going to a class for more reasons than wanting to bone the girl sitting next to me.
Everything is fine now . The coast guard said we just can't take the inflatable trampling out past the break way anymore
Well some days you just have to get blackout drunk and try to speak Spanish to French Canadian strangers
I bought Plan B for the first time and an interview outfit today. You could say my life is improving.
I need time to grow out my leg hair and not be sad anymore
Drunk me also decided it would be funny to change all the passwords on my computer last night. Now I can't log into anything.
Excuse me I just made a hot pocket without burning down the house, I think i can do anything.
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