Just looked in the bathroom mirror before getting to this exam to see If I look as bad as I feel & the answer is no. I look amazing, even in yesterday's clothes
are you serious? he told me he had to cancel bc his grandma came into town
well unless his grandma is 21 and blonde, HE LIED TO YOU IDIOT
You came on your own forehead. Just wanted to remind you that.
I think I'm interested in anyone that recognizes I actually have a pulse
he stopped during sex, told me i smelled like McDonald's and went harder..
I respect the size of her balls.
Yeah but I don't respect the size of her anything else.
On duty sugar tits. A Marine never abandons his post to take nudi pics.
I appear to have wine on my toes. I am really not clear as to how this happened. I'm gonna have a little lie down.
Reminder: You could have had sex with me while wearing a tiara.
So I definitely tried to pay a cab with baseball tickets last night
WHO DOES THAT ON A TUESDAY? This is not a Drake joke, the girl doesn't turn up OR down. She doesn't do anything.
When I come home and take my bra off and I'm served with a perfect grilled cheese along with a glass of wine. Priceless.
I mean I faked it but he could answer my texts
don't worry, i'll dog sit again, the barking made the sex better, its like he was cheering for us, we were just THAT good.
Can I borrow a thong? I’m having drinks with a cute boy tonight and I’m out of clean underwear
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