Well i just wrestled a cop... p.s. i won
he just had his sister send me a message about how he's not a creeper
Was his mother too busy breastfeeding him to do it?
Her vagina smelled like chicken
why do you say that
chicken smells like everything
Take your time, they're doing body shots off the dog.
I forget the details, but I'm told that I drunkenly stalked him around floor yelling obscure Jewish laws at him
Dude your not gonna get by security covered in blood wearing only a robe
Don't worry I'm drunk they won't say anything
if you just come over, i will entertain you
arguing about the color of your bong does not count as entertainment
we used the fire extinguisher you had been cuddling with to decorate the cop car while they were inside arresting everyone
At least one of us had a weekend full of money and dick
We got drunk and crashed a fifty year old woman's birthday party for the food. Whoops.
He just pulled a Spanish chick using google translate!!!! We are at the bar and she speaks zero English. Hes a fucking magician!!!!!!
The cop told me I was the prettiest guy he'd arrested in a while. I'm still not sure if it was a come on or not.
Okay so the couple who keep propositioning people for threeways are def siblings not bf/gf
So are you gonna do it or no you said they're hot
I'm going to get drunk, come back, call my grandma, and eat all those scrambled eggs.
Listen this is important.. if I die tonight you have to be the drug dealer at my funeral
Randomize
