People are allowed to visit it's just they can't be from Germany and have to wear masks.
i wish they had a 'baby daddy' section in halmark, like, "hey, i know you didn't want this child and you're doing a horrible job, but here's to making you cry on fathers day"
i'm sending her a home depot gift card for the hole i put in her wall. call it good?
u downloaded tardy 4 the party
then u started screaming about not wanting nene on the record
Ah, the precious few moments between when i wake up and when i realize why i'm sleeping on a treadmill.
We need to buy some popsicles so we can remind ourselves we're good at this.
I vaguely remember walking down the highstreet with a plate of K offering lines to passers buy. I sold a line to a taxi driver.
I thought you just gave him blowjobs and he criticized your drug use.
He asked me "did you used to go to church" while we were having sex.
the upside of dating someone over 21: he can buy me a pregnancy test AND a bottle of wine when he goes to cvs for me
Alas my dad DD'd me. Legit cock blocked to the highest degree
I'm trying to get weird tonight. Like I want to see bitches crawling on all fours drinking milk from bowls and shit by 5 am. You down?
"Being an adult" and "being happy" are two circles that do not overlap in my Venn diagram of life.
that moment you remember partying with someone several years ago.. and don't remember if you slept with them or not.
Is it something I'm going to want to hug you for or slap you for?
Randomize