we are driving next to a guy driving and masturbating while looking at a naked magazine. I love LA
awkward like he asked me out for a "rest of the summer make out buddy" thing and I kind of had a female testicle retreat moment
she was seriously choking and the whole time all he kept saying was "that's what she said"
my little brother just told me that I should start chasing my vodka with slim fast. genious.
I threw up red last night... I wanted to pinch myself because it wasn't green.
Soooo, if his status went from married to single and he deleted all the pictures of his kids does that mean he's up for dibbs?
Hes laying on the floorn in the bathroom telling Jesus to raise the flag
Its funny that cleaning up pieces of water balloons and shot glasses every morning is becoming a routine
You were basically naked. Just covered in pink duck tape and feathers. I'd have to say this is beyond the slutty mark..
He always takes me to get taco bell after we hook up in his car. It's sort of become a booty call tradition.
The picture that pops up when I call her phone is a picture of my nipple. Just so you're forewarned.
We fucked so hard and loud that the everyone at the party downstairs starting chanting his name. Oh I we broke a lamp.
Do you ever get high and look at your cat and feel like you know them on an intellectual level?
Is there an "I fucked your brother" emoji?
Dude. That's like masturbating until the point that you're going to climax, then stopping, waiting for a few seconds and then starting all over. While that does lead to an altogether more powerful orgasm, it's still annoying as hell until you get there.
I was not expecting that analogy.
No one ever expects that analogy.
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