So ignoring my calls doesnt work if you update your facebook a minute later.
I don't think ill make it tonight the floor wont let me walk
she was on her period so I asked if she wanted to make ass babies
so I called to to smoke and you didn't pick up so I smoked and now I'm a race car
This was all being yelled across a beer pong table as all important things should be discussed
It was like a little tadpole swimming in the big ocean.
i'm almost done photoshopping my face on his wife. it's a done deal
so if i die before i go back to school its because the thing we found in the hallway that i've been smoking out of is a crack pipe
she said she walked into the kitchen and i was sitting ass naked on the floor chugging her parents vodka.
When we were eating pie last night, I dropped some, and not only did you not judge me for far surpassing the 5 second rule, you let me use your foot to sock mop with. You're a good friend.
25 likes of a picture on Instagram of my butthole. beat that.
I just dried my bra with your hair straightener because the drier is broken again.
I would say that that is the last time I ever drink a bottle of jack in two hours, but really who am I kidding?
So what if I got a tattoo on a bus, it was sterile.
She grabbed a $20 bill out of my hand, calling it a lap dance coupon and then she dragged me into her bedroom. I think I’m in love
Randomize
