You are the one person I know will appreciate this- and I'm aware that its nearly 5 am- but I have 3 words... G spot orgasm. BE JEALOUS
his penis is like a homeless cat. ever since I've satisfied him he keeps showing up on my doorstep ask for more.
i get tired of guys telling me there married or they have a girlfriend. they act like it concerns or matters to me
Had a couple pieces of pizza for breakfast...suck on that Jamie Oliver.
you're being stingy. if you didnt want people to have sex on your couch, you shouldve specifically said so.
Just purchased ketchup, body wash, and lube. Hope you're ready for the post-memorial-day-cookout-shower-anal.
I'm two sheets to the sexual wind
I cut myself stripping on your car. Probably a profession I shouldn't pursue
Red flag bro. Her only friends are barflys and a teen with a fake ID
I don't think a gay three way is the best way to confirm your sexuality.
omg his dad is hot
... I'm currently away at the moment. Leave a msg since I cannot express how much I can't help you stop ruining peoples lives.
Nothing brings compassion from a group of cafe workers like walking in and asking if they have a 'hangover special'
I've already come to terms that I'm gonna have to bone a few gross librarians, but hey, it's college
I'm not going to waste the next hour of my life writing a diplomatic email explaining that she's bitch. I have Parks and Rec to watch.
Can u pick up some lemons on the way? I have Tequila and a sore throat..I need them for both
Randomize
