We drank from noon till 5 am, there was adderall and nice jews involved it was just crazy
i just turned barefoot contessa into a drinking game. everytime she uses a knife butter or salt i drink.
Dude, we have the same penis size. Best friends for life.
The first sip always goes straight to my vagina.
i just fell asleep masturbating. I'm no longer surprised i'm single. I can't even pleasure myself.
Is your delayed response due to the massive amount of judging going on?
do you realize that she was the awkward lesbian in high school and now bangs more girls than probably both of us combined?!
what's the name of that soccar player i bit again?
I can coach you back to consumption. Think of it kinda like Rocky II.
it wasn't a normal cookie, i figured that out 45 minutes into my exam
you pulled down your pants to convince a girl you were god
Only thing I got out of his drunken Spanish is something that sounded like "pencil sharpener." Damn rosetta stone.
What does puking wasabi feel like?
Like snorting cocaine backwards.
I wish i could just live off of margaritas and good sex.
high I am. I am yoda. Yoda I am
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