you could play connect the dots with the people ive fucked in this room
see you put your penis in her and it's like an ignition key to start the crazy
they got in a fight during sex...she came out yelling and covered in chocolate
Just walked past a girl wearing nothing but flip flops and an oversized sweatshirt crying by the front gates eating pizza. i just found your soulmate.
Yah, I definitely wouldn't wanna be fingered with a fake arm...
Just found the bucket list I wrote when I was high...somehow I dont think "jello swimming pool" is gonna happen.
do you find it slutty that the last person I had sex with is also the person who sings my ringtone ?
thing about being the result of a teen pregnancy is that all my baby pictures are of my mom and dad holding me around their stoned college friends.
She wants to have naked weekends
They call that free range vagina in France
Dude, seduce him with cookies. You almost turned me gay with scones. Don't be surprised when they get you laid.
Is there a reason there's a dick print on my seventh-story window?
Still breathing?
Still breathing , but quite out of it. I think I hallucinated like 20 action sequences.
What.
I just bought us acid. I'm like the drug tooth fairy. Get ready to wake up with a sweattart of acid under your pillow.
Hey, remember that time a week ago when we walk-of-shamed literally down the Vegas Strip at 8:45am and I had one broken heel?
I texted him "my vagina is pounding for you"
I know, you made me proof read it.
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