I reminded them that I didn't puke and I cleaned yours up! So huh!
yeah worst sex in my life. plus i think her little brother was in the room.
I totally thought the tree was playing the guitar
It must be a full moon weekend. All of my weird booty calls are coming out of the woodwork. I spent 40 minutes on the phone last night telling one why he is so creepy.
Interestingly im still mad at you for the time we got high and you tried to hump me.
Lol thats a classic
I briefly wondered why they weren't in school, but after the tinier one shouted "check out dem titties!" I had my answer
I have pictures of you taking tequila shots off the front of the police car when the cop wasn't looking.
My drug dealer is making me hot tea during the snowstorm...I'm a fan.
This is my first time seeing you since your lesbian experience. SO EXCITED!
He taught me where the gears in a five speed are with his penis.
Hey I'm not sure why your jacket's covered in maple syrup but I just realized you didn't leave the house earlier wearing a jacket...
My legs have surpassed "hairy" and entered the territory of "furry". Maybe I should just suck it up and shave already
No now I'm curious!
I really feel like I should slow down on the getting hammered. I told a bartender on "Taco Tuesday" that a $3 margarita was too expensive. And proceeded to have a $70 tab.
i think i just lost a toe
That confirms what we've all known all along. I'm a bad gay. I have no fashion sense.
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