at some point to night u and I have a 'meeting' too...(1-737): I hope so
dude, the reading rainbow guy was just talking to a HOLOGRAM
Are you sure you're not watching Star Trek?
wait... oh
Ask me how many people I've slept with. Because its changed since I last saw you.
I saw you 20 MINUTES AGO. You need to stop this.
how do you have sooo much energy?
billy mays threw in a lil somethin extra when i ordered some oxiclean last week
There is a banner on a house by campus that says "welcome to college dads. Thanks for dropping off your daughters!"
I will fuck him senseless, no need for a priest.
I only have one eye to read your texts because I just stabbed one out after reading that last text.
Lets just say I chased with a burrito.
The dorm caught on fire so it turned into a 5am pool party
okay - we take $20 and buy each other some 'drink till we puke' clothes from the thrift store.
So we broke my sobriety. Played life size childhood games. Broke into a cold hot tub and got laid. I think this is BFF quality!
I just want to trick people into going on dates with me so they can bring back to their houses and let me use their wifi.
I started singing I believe I can fly in the shower and it was like the first stage of insanity
I sent him a tit pic with the caption, "Mt. Arie and Mt. Hola are ready for expedition." Too nerdy?
The Uber driver took us to a Waffle House. We didn't even say anything when we got in. MAGIC.
Masterbating to Tolstoy. You?
Randomize
