I have discovered something important. The trick to making food taste better is not always 'more hot sauce'.
glow-in-the-dark stars on his ceiling from '98 totally make blowing him more romantic.
she's telling me all about the love triangles of her sims. you tell me how it's going.
could you please explain to me why my jumper cables are on my bedroom floor?
It's like I'm snorkeling in an ocean of tequila.
You. Me. A bottle of Vodka. The wilderness.
Just received a visit from the Ghost of Bad Decisions Past. Kind of weird 90% of the flashbacks happened in the same sixteen month span, the rest happened at Taco Bell.
I knew from the second he called his penis glorious that I was meant to sleep with him
I awoke this morning alone and naked in my bed I forecast my date later not going so well because I have three giant hickies on my neck there is a note next to my bed that looks a 3rd grader wrote it on my college acceptance letter
Omg he has a washer and dryer IN his apartment and lots of back up toilet paper. I went home with an adult. My uterus is pumping out eggs beyond my control.
You kept trying to make people drink "salsa-ritas." But all you did was dump tequila in a half full jar of salsa, and shove it in people's faces while shouting at them.
Hah I guess I sent that to like ten people, along with another one of me sitting in a bath tub eating an ice cream sandwich.
We need to leave a grand offering for the god of free booze and salvia.
Aww well I’m kinda unsober so probably best
Did you guys just have three hour sex? You both stopped and restarted texting me at the same time
If I were to say yes, would we still be friends?
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