Wow senior week shows you new things about yourself
Is this the I'm gay speech?
just heard a swedish guy suck in helium and speak in his accent. top 5 favorite moments. ever.
Just made out with the bride... She was still in her dress & I was still in my bridesmaid dress, how's that for an album picture?!?
He scratched off my spray tan. Literal nail marks down my back. Can't imagine what's underneath his fingernails.
God and karma are having a fucking field day with my body today.
The stripper just invited me to take shots with him out at his car after he gets off stage.. I mean why not? I've already seen everything he's got and it'll be easy to get him naked.
Now that I'm born again, I'm preserving my gift.
Your vagina isn't a White Elephant gift. You can't re-wrap it after it's already been given several times. That's white trash thinking.
did you just take a shot to penises and friendship?
We broke into her grandpa's pool at 2 am and I held my underwear out the window on the way home.
my paper on vitamins just turned into a 2 hour tangent google search on what i should buy to best cure a hangover. I need to stop getting high before homework
I woke up on his couch and my bra was flung across the floor and filled with animal crackers
I know the wedding is going to be a good time, I don't have to wear a bra with my dress
Waking up next to a guy you don't remember going home with and the first thing you say is: where is my tiara? = successful birthday
he just fucked me for my cheese.
can you tell me why i woke up in a diaper and combat boots?
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