i only shaved half my leg
on purpose
Dude, a dry wedding reception should nullify the vows, because really, without the booze, you might as well be 5 years old again and playing dress-up
I intend to get homeless drunk
I woke up to my dog trying to clean my vagina.
It was so weird. I had like an out of body experience. I heard the moaning, but I didn't know it was me.
I don't know, But i remember him licking ecstasy off my boobs and my boyfriend cheering him on
Rode my bike to work still drunk. Almost threw up on a camper while getting him out of his parents car.
Apparently my downstairs neighbors don't much appreciate it when I do drunk aerobics at 3am on a Wednesday...
FULL ON LADY WOOD. YOU CAN SEE THE VEIN
I dunno what's worse, the fact that I hooked up with a guy that shaves his armpits or that I didn't notice until he brought it up the next day
idk about you, but when i sext i just hit em with the "yo lets bang" text
The album on my phone containing gross pictures to send when boys ask for nudes is now substantially larger than my normal photo album. Because I send one every night
Its 8 in the morning and I wouldn't pass a breathalyzer test, How's your day been?
Remind me to tell you all about the topless girl on the street who attempted to taze me.
I feel like sleeping with foreign people is a long term investment. It's like a time share. Now when I go to London I have a place to stay.
Randomize
