do you think he would believe thats it not really my period, and that i ate a lot of licorice?
u downloaded tardy 4 the party
then u started screaming about not wanting nene on the record
I am at the point where deciding not to drink alone is worth a rocky music montage in and of itself.
Wtf man. I knew she was bad news. No sane person cares if you eat their raviolli.
Yep. It's going to be us, strippers, and drag queens.
A glittery, gay, heavily makeuped, scantily dressed clusterfuck.
Every time I walk onto campus my Saint Patrick's day scar starts to throb. I'm like a drunken accident prone Harry Potter
I love THIS fish, the rest of the ocean can go fuck itself. I am ahab and he is my whale
I just windexed my mirror headboard, Lets get to work.
I agreed not to hook up with any randoms while she's on vacation, if that isn't a show of good faith then I don't know what is...
Was booty called last night and I was so blacked out that my roomie made me puke before going to "eye of the tiger." Why I'm still single is beyond me
Just woke up. Naked. Under an animal pelt. With a girl. I've never met her. She's pretty naked too.
Only you could successfully troll for dick at a Hillel bake sale.
Currently hot boxing a fort I made on our snow day... This is legendary
First encounter with a mirco peen. I was confused when he said he doesnt go down on girls. Cmon dude, practice on a peach.
I really want to stop getting this drunk. I've got the Sunday scaries and it's only Saturday
Randomize
