My sheets at my parents place are clean. No braveheart but I can paint myself, yell "freedom", and sword fight you with my cock. So come over.
Forget about socially acceptable. Make me happy instead
Having a conversation over beer pong about a threesome I participated in...it's only Wednesday
I slept walked to the toilet and woke up pooping. Easily one of the most disorienting events of my life.
Dude there are two smokin hot chicks laying outside my apartment...I almost want to tell them theyre laying where I threw up last night
U should. Its a good ice breaker
I no longer want to be the gay that plays in the revolving door at RelationshipDale's like a seven year old with a.d.d.
Apparently, there is a horrible ghonorrea out break at our school. Woo! What a way for Loyola to welcome us back.
Woke up laying in the kitchen floor with a cup in one hand and the beer tap in the other. Guess I just needed that one last beer.
well apperantly i passed out on the stairs shouting "victory".
I was only out of town for 1 week. His cell records show he texted 63 ex-gfs and hookups while I was gone. And 10 condoms are missing.
I love THIS fish, the rest of the ocean can go fuck itself. I am ahab and he is my whale
She had a cast on when I met her, but she blamed me for breaking her arm this morning. I'm gonna marry this girl.
IDK MAYBE BC I WOKE UP IN AN AIRPORT WITH A ONE WAY TICKET TO LONDON
I may have unintentionally punched your cat twice but he's an asshole anyway.
I don't know what that means. Any of it. BUT I will be at your house at 10:20 and you better be ready to get high as balls.
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