why the FUCK would i wear makeup on my vagina!?
Graduating is kinda bittersweet. Now I'm gonna have to find another excuse to day-drink and sleep until 3pm besides "I'm in college."
You need to take one for the team and go bang a random sample of mexicans. Cause my internets broke and I can't google mexican foreskin stats.
For future reference, never invite the people you met at Dunkin Donuts at 2am to your house to watch Dogma
So it looks like you may be an uncle real soon. Don't ask how I feel about it and don't text me back.
Where is a good place to buy a New Year's outfit that acknowledges I don't have tits but screams I suck dick like a champ?
You have to understand, he didn't so much come out of the closet as he backflipped out of it with an accompanying marching band.
Trevor is horny so he just called me to tell me all the things that he would like to do with his future wife. That's a new one.
So much easier to puke and rally now that my gluten's under control
we are the apple cider girls!
We both work at 8am and I have to shower but my roommate is passed out on our bathroom floor with the door locked. Merry Christmas.
So the other day we finished having sex and he literally said "what are we going to do about your vagina?" Like, I hadn't even dismounted him yet.
I made him fuck me while wearing a Thor helmat from Walmart. Geek sex is the best sex
I know this shouldnt be a problem, but there are too many women hitting on me. I dont know what to do
He goes "what would you say if I told you I like to get it in?" def a potential soulmate right there.
idk but im stoned n hiding in the bathroom from my kids with a really big bowl of really little candy bars
Randomize