He saved me in his phone as Easy Jen. Should I be offended?
I wouldn't worry about it. He has me as "Sex Puppet."
I just high-fived this girl after she swallowed.
i know he has to tuck it when he gets excited in public and all, but now he is just starting to show off.
you were grabbing cocks left and right
you literally grabbed sam's dick and said, "who's cock is this?!"
someone needs to make a hangover cure that isn't cocaine.
You are the only person I know who got away with wearing a turtleneck while getting laid. ONLY person.
That's okay, during storytime I would have to sit on my hands so I wouldn't touch everyone. Explains a lot...
You better fuck one or both of those bitches and bring me pictures that will make me uncomfortable
I can do at least one of those things.
It might have taken me 30 minutes but I finally finished the toast I made. That hungover.
I don't give a shit if she's homeless, if you're gunna live outside el pollo loco and act like a bitch I'm squirting you with my water bottle
She looks like a hot George Washington...I'm going for it
Well he wouldn't kiss me so I made out with a German girl, took a shot with my boss, and I think I sprained my ankle. It was a quiet Sunday for me.
all i want in life is a shot and a cock is that too much to ask
Will you remind me I changed my hotspot phone password to fuckyouprivilegedwhitedude
Had a girl with a moustache tattoo on her hand give me a handjob. That shit was classy as fuck. I felt like I should be wearing a monocle or something.
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