what do kids with lesbian moms do for father's day? like do you talk about it? is it awkward? do you get the butchy mom a card?
Fist pumping is hard when country music is playing FYI but I am committed
wow, so sex, not that great its like masturbating with a warm towelette, like the kind you get at a japanese restaurant
My male hookup buddy is gonna meet my female hookup buddy, let the awkward hookup games begin!
See, not all bad decisions involve my penis.
We're gonna have the chick that teaches kindergarteners to fold origami roll the joints.
She found my wedding ring, sallowed it and wished me good luck explaining it to my wife before walking out. Now what?
I dont know but I had two different hospital bands and half a pie when i woke up.
You're the only person I know who can be puking into a trash can at 8 in the morning in Manhattan and get a date out of it....
I'm pretty sure "good advice you would give to a freshman for achieving success" isn't constituted by introducing them to your addy dealer...
it is my civic duty to ensure the success of our youth.
Suffice to say, I think if people ask about your bruises, and you look them right in the eye, and say "they're from fucking...", people would be like, "respect."
I got a lap dance last night from a girl while I was wearing a Captian America onsie. My life does not suck.
I thought the dude was just really enjoying his piss but apparently he was jerkin off into the urinal.
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
yeah, last night we handcuffed you and you started crying saying that you weren't a bad person
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