I'm not saying he was bad at sex, but I'm pretty sure I anti-climaxed.
The sky will open, cue choir of angels: "oh! wow! Matt was right! Not only will I grow out my bush, but I'm going to date straight, available men!"
remind me not buy ky at kmart ever again. Had to get a manager to open the locked case. then he stood there and watched me look through the selection
I hate that ur telling me this.
Today in class was pretty awsome. I dont feel like i have to throw up and im actually paying attention. This is a first for friday
I've made out with men from every corner of the globe. Sex-wise, I've almost conquered europe. Take that napoleon
So....maintenance found the bullethole.....
You're going to have to buy me a lot of drinks before the bee suit goes on...
Im trying to find an appropriate gift to your mom for getting both you and your sister on birth control within a week, any suggestions?
He panicked, you ducked and I was coming off a 3 day coke binge. It was no one's shining moment.
Nothing is more awkward than taking a dump while someone is crying in the bathroom.
I will not hesitate to go down on a dick for some cream soda.
Tonight, a friend walked in and said "oh look at that. Drunk on the living room floor. Just as expected." this is my life. This is my life.
...Just this whole adulting thing gets in the way of mermaid drag shows at lesbian bars.
Dude what is wrong with me. I'm like a strong independent woman and shit.
We all love a big dick, but you’re going to develop a reputation if you keep asking every guy at the bar ‘how big your dick’
That’s all I’m saying
Randomize
