Bc you can definitely buy condoms if ur a 14 year old girl
Who would have guessed that ordering a vodka lemonade at Roscoe's was code for I want a hand job
i watch way too much csi for them to even pretend to be my friend.
What can I expect? While all of my friends are getting married, all of his friends are tripping on robitussin
im goin to the NYE party with a tuxedo painted on my body. i know a girl who does it. wanna join?
just wokeup with my ethics textbook on my chest, animal crakers in my mouth and my dick in my hand. even aristotle doesn't have a theory for this one
I had to convince you not to write "happy birthday to the first guy who fingered me" on his facebook wall, right above the post from his current girlfriend's mother.
There needs to be waaaay more alcohol in my apartment if I am going to survive being unemployed
Lets just fuck. We'll decide if it was makeup or breakup sex after.
I got offered a handle of vodka and tomato soup to bring his dog home. He knows me all too well.
I know it basically makes me the worst feminist ever, but I don't want to kill my own spiders. And I will pay my personal spider hit man with sammiches and unlimited , uninhibited access to my vagina.
why is there a chinchilla in our apartment, and where did it come from?
question nothing. DON'T QUESTION A FREE CHINCHILLA.
And that is why I love you so much. You have the same cold black heart as me.
is that a dick in a sweater?
I love when my neighbors have passionate, loud sex to remind me that I'm not getting laid
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