So on facebook, the pictures from my church mission trip are right up next to the pictures of my first time on E. Sorry Jesus.
He did a double fist pump when he discovered the Magnums fit and skipped back towards the bed.
He just kept pointing to each of us saying "arrested, arrested, arrested"
I am so hung over a medically induced coma is beginning to sound appealing.
Wow, nothing is more special than changing the channel and seeing the guy who groped you on Saturday night...
They make twin pack pregnancy tests for girls like us
I think she finds the idea of a naked fat man lying on the table and holding our butter offensive
Well I mean he is in a slightly seductive pose
Being with her was like shitty sexual fear factor big ass sausage nipples over sized outty belly button i was scared and drunk tell know one
We were high as shit. We argued for like ten minutes about going to Dunkin Donuts and then just ended up rolling down hills. Thanks for the weed.
On a Thurs night I found myself drunk in a limo w 9 dudes on my way to a strip club. Once there I was handed $100 in ones and told "spend it." I need a husband. Or Jesus.
He's not very smart so he didn't know I was yelling at him with monologues from Scandal.
I'm so sorry to hear about your grandmother. Also how many grams are in an eighth?
I'M SO HIGH I FORGOT HOW TO EAT A STRAWBERRY. A FUCKING STRAWBERRY.
He grabbed at it like it was a stress ball or something. It's a boob, not a grapefruit. The fuck.
Your ex spoke highly of your penis and it’s skill. I’m interested in learning more about it ;-)
Randomize
