mutual masturbation is only cool if cash money records is involved.
I couldn't get internet on my iPod in this hotel room for porn, so I made due with UFC.
I'm not sure what to say to that.
right as i was about to introduce them she goes "old fuck buddy, meet new fuck buddy."
I'm currently blowing up the downstairs bathroom at work. I wish I could foursquare this.
I've come to realize that after waking up this morning for work no one wins in bar dice.
My brother just put in eyedrops to talk to my mom on the phone
This is the first time since last march I'm gonna be going to a class for more reasons than wanting to bone the girl sitting next to me.
At a St Pats house party. Just raised $110 for two short chicks to crawl into a dog cage together. Video forthcoming. Respect.
Maybe you shouldn't go to cosmic bowling, i don't know if cum glows and I don't wanna find out i'm sure his parents don't either.
My little brother just suggested we drink the rest of the vodka because it's raining. My job is complete.
well, obviously he didn't fuck me for my strong moral fiber.
You've lost booty call privileges between the hours of 10pm and 8am.
Oh dear. If we're both hearing alien sounds then perhaps they're real.
i have pictures frm only 4 hours ago that will fucking ruin you so i suggest yuo come get me.
Where are you?
dunno. ask mike. bring pain killers. and underwear. and my dignity.
its a recording of you guys having sex?!
its actually 30 minutes of him begging and then 2 minutes of sex.
Randomize
