Um, that's called prostitution
Not if I leave it on the nightstand, then it's called cab money
What wine goes with Cap'n Crunch?
I wasn't on board with that statement until "home made dinosaurs"
Using Dr. Seuss quotes to ask me how badly I want your penis is not appropriate.
because whats more american than sleeping with a westpoint cadet on the 4th of july?
Afraid I'm about to get arrested. Complicated situation but not a joke. If I do not text again that all is clear within 90 minutes kindly begin bail process. I have the cash to repay as soon as I get home. Details later.
He's coming over, and I hope he doesn't get hungry. I'm sure its not proper protocol to bring one booty call to another booty call's house for the munchies.
No. If you are gonna end this, you are gonna do it right. Not by getting bombed and falling on a strange penis. That was the old you.
She was kinda cute. So long as you don't mind neck tattoos and bad life choices.
I couldn't find a lighter, so I smoked a bowl with a birthday candle.
Guess who just enrolled into online classes at Hogwarts? This gal.
Waffles and pussy, what else is there?
Come on, will you just fuck him so we can watch Star Wars.
It's not a walk of shame if you run
Damn that brownie almost kicked my ass. I'm not sure if my flight home lasted 10 minutes or 10 days..
Randomize
