I asked my mom, she said yes...but you have to shower with grandpa.
So I went into my gym pretty wasted and asked the trainer guy if i could order a cock meat sandwich. Needless to say, I'm canceling my membership tomorrow.
She just used a chaser for red wine.
So one buddy got tackled at the urinals by national guard members and was arrested. Another had sex in a port o potty with possibly the drunkest girl I've ever encountered. The rest of us blacked out and won a few bets. So yes, the derby did meet our expectations.
I woke up tied to the door handle with reindeer patterned socks. You can tell it's Christmas.
Quick question... Can I call you daddy? Or would that just really made the whole 8 year age gap a bigger deal...?
i got a standing ovation for bringing skittles to the party
I cannot tell if the couch is cold or I spilled beer. THAT kind of night.
Was it fun? The night started with home made Jager and ended in him falling out of a tree with a pocket full of house numbers...you tell me.
URGENT INPUT I'm at a renesance fair after party and I'm 100% lined up to fuck their sword swallower OR their contortionist. Dont say both - which direction doth I roll?
I just got fingered in the Win-Co parking lot for pills. How's your meltdown going?
She kissed me, then said "mmm your face tastes like it needs my pussy on it."
At some point, I’d like to pretend that his penis is a popsicle.
I peed in front of kids, unfortunately
How many weight watcher activity points do you think sex is worth?
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