Tell her she can't have a vagina
It was like my butthole was peeing. Felt comforting yet not fulfilling.
i woke up and my collection of plastic neon wayfarers were half-melted in the microwave. my drunk self hates my hipster self
We're exchanging pot brownie recipes in my substance abuse class. This is going to be an awesome 7 weeks.
oh hey summer self, welcome to endless thirsty thursdays and walks of shame.
Are you still at the party or did I leave?
she asked me which thongs i though her boyfriend would like best. fuck the friend zone
this whole plan B standoff thing with her is really starting to make me nervous
Fair warning: We've transformed the living room into a giant tent.
Still losing my voice, so I am trying to get it back through drugs. Welcome to my Monday logic.
I blew him while watching the aristocats. There were singing cats in the background. I think he he hummed along at one point.
in the midst of studying i picked up my capsule full of untouched weed, popped it open, and whispered "soon" into it. midterms man
Orientation leader success, day 1: incoming freshman just ate out his first sorority girl. I gave him a 7/10.
I witness him finger a girl behind the dj decks yet I'm still going to meet up with him. Wtf is my life
Listen this is important.. if I die tonight you have to be the drug dealer at my funeral
Randomize
