I have said "that's the wrong hole" for the last time.
Do you have a shampoo for semen
Or a time machine
I'm watching the Australian Open. They need to slow the fuck down. It's hard enough to follow sober and now it's just pissing me off.
I see you've set aside this special time to humiliate yourself in public.
We got jeff a deep fryer for his bday. So far the count is two potatoes and your iPod.
Well, if he didn't want to get caught mid-gay experience by his girlfriend, he shouldn't have pushed so hard to do MDMA with me.
True but, who really needs money in europe? Just barter with sexual favors. A bowl of cereal is worth a blowjob.
he went at my nipples like a starved dog.
this st patricks day sucks
ill send jameson via bank tube 150+ miles
How do I ask where the Jello shot cups are at Walmart without sounding like white trash?
Holy Hangover.. I'm marrying whoever put this water by my bed
He got you flowers. How bad can the sex really be?
how early is too early to start drinking over the gilmore girls revival
Officially the best daughter ever. I just restocked my parents alcohol that I stole last night AND ADDED TO IT
Stop making fun of my hookups!
Stop getting hookups that I can make fun of!
Randomize