I fucked a guy named chris tucker last night
I just queefed in yoga class and now the old man next to me is smiling at me.
oh there is nothing like the 1st beerbong of the school year
just had to take a 4 hour nap to write a one page paper. its obviously the week after winter break.
So I used the "I've never cummed from a BJ before" line last night.
And that worked?
9 for 9! Not only does it give them a goal but they have a sense of accomplishment afterwards.
Is it sad that I have better conversations with his roommate before or after sex than I do with him in general?
While the bouncer was checking my purse, he found a bag of pasta noodles in it and asked me why I put them in my purse. I said to him: "So the guy knows I can cook."
Well that's my green light to bang ur brother. Its not real til its on fb
Everyone was soo nice and genuine.. Then again it coulda just been the drugs.
Any recommendations for how to tell your wife about the pics of her 19 yr old sister on a porn site without admitting you were surfing said porn site?
Your normalization of crazy is frightening.
So high, just applauded for a magic trick on Hulu.
It doesn't count as "finding the lesbian" if you fuck a straight girl!
Well that's disappointing. I guess I'll give a lesson on dick-breaking another time then
Yeah I knew you'd like him. He's emotionally and physically self destructive.
We would have so much to talk about!
Randomize
