after we had sex last night he told me he smelled like my vagina. and then he said that if his roommate had a vagina he would probably smell like it. because "they hug weird and shit."
My complete lack of self respect has really improved my blow job technique
One blow job doesn not make me gay.
I walked into his room and he was naked with a half eaten pecan pie and a bottle of wine.
i was that girl throwing up in the urinal. it was a dark moment in my life.
Sophomore year, I fucked on your desk chair. I'm sorry. I love you.
She apparently grabbed another girl and pulled her into the shower fully clothed. When the girl was like "you need to stop" she curled up into a ball and refused to leave.
Whoa, you know how to pick em.
Give us adventure or give us cock. Or cocktails.
So I dropped $130 while buying shots for an army ranger, got my fake taken, almost went to jail, and came out of my black out when I was talking to the cops with a stolen detour sign in my hands.
Taking a shit on the side of the road is not how I imagined this morning would start.
Now that weed is legalized There needs to be reusable bags for people to pick up with. All this plastic is so bad for the environment and a waste
Woke up with a grilled cheese in my hand, it was like god giving me a high five for the night before
woke up with 8 used magnum condoms bound together by floss around my neck, thats about all im gonna tell you.
Oh. My. God. I. Am. Going. To. Punch. Someone. In. The. Face. Immediately.
Can I send you a random dick pic? It's got a lightsaber tattoo
Randomize
