she was hot for a redneck and i dont look at teeth
I realized as I was wesiging my engamemby ring that you'd never love me tha same. I have life plans and Sam showed them to me
What? You're not speaking real words.
I really think my ability to vom without making noise mmight be my most useful talent
i literally paused in the middle of it, turned on my light, pointed to the picture netxt to my bed and go "you hooked up with my roommate too!!! AWWW!" he was so weirded out. i don't think he understands the relationship we have..we share..
Haha pretty bummed I didn't stay night yesterday after the bj fest you described
THAT IS NOT SOMETHING YOU TELL SOMEBODY THE FIRST TIME YOU MEET THEM IN THE DARK.
I have no idea. There are 6 asians singing hey soul sister to me right now.
At this point if I didn't go to work hungover I think the whole place would think something is wrong
I literally just smashed open my grade school piggy bank for beer money. Goodbye childhood. Hellllllo coin night.
You know.... I ordered the nipple clamps when I was drunk. But on further consideration, THANKS DRUNK ME I LIKE WHATS HAPPENING
Sex aside I am really scared about Syria...
Well I shit myself on the way home from work today so there's that...
They're gonna put "is a hoe" on my medical records
Can we get pizza? This is seriously not a booty call. I just really want someone to get pizza with me.
So he has moved up to a stage 5 clinger...Surprised he didn't try to lure you into bed with tacos, like he did last time
Yeah... akward. I don't want a round 2
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