Proposition. Sex. No words, no talking about it later. I just want you tonight.
halloween costumes for girls are easy, slutty teacher, slutty cop, slutty nurse, etc...
exactly, that's why i want something interesting
slutty neuroscientist?
I've replaced the bottom of the food pyramid with alcohol.
They had miseltoe over the keg.... thats cheating
His hands were made for my vagina.
She barfed in the corner of the baby pool. Then she yelled "it's okay" repeatedly while trying to scoop it out.
I woke up to a gnawing sound in the middle of the night and asked him what it was. He told me it was the family of squirrels that lives in the wall and to go back to sleep.
Having a vagina does not stop me from believeing my balls are bigger than yours.
Stoned in a petco on a Saturday. I figured out that ferrets can eat themselves out. Just picture it. Never leaving.
It's really funny to see the look on the sales lady's face when she asks why you're replacing a painting. "I knocked it off the wall during sex w/ my heels," wasn't what she expected.
I had 17 beers 2 days ago. I'm not dad material yet
Good. Need a drinking partner later. FOR AMERICA!!!
I have someone saved in my phone as "This Hoe Ain'tit' Loyal" and I'm missing my superman boxers. Explain.
YOU SLEPT WITH A GUY WHO HAS A BILLBOARD IN HIS HONOR?
he was almost the father of your baby, you should let him take you to dinner
Randomize