you kept spraying the cat with water and then telling it to "man up" when it cried
wait so...it's like an actual thing to masturbate using the detachable shower head? WTF I thought I was being creative!
I gave him a handjob while watching the presidential address. Needless to say, it was weird.
"Does your mom know how big your cock is?" Worst dirty talk I've ever had.
I just found $40 in the jeans I wore last night. PS I also found the jeans I wore last night.
Talking to a male stripper. About the LSAT. Only in Vegas.
I'm eating Doritos that I crushed up n put in a cup so I only have to chill minimally.
hotdog in my bra and i still managed to score. Got a bit freaked when he tried to eat it though. I paid 3 bucks for that fucking hotdog.
My pubic hair is shaved into the shape of mistletoe.
I hope that's a joke and if not I need a snap of it
Made him watch 4 hours of HGTV then told him I was too tired for sex.
Savage
You're the only person I know who's experienced a micropenis and a magnum XL penis
Btw I'm playing passed out so you can get laid but obviously you need to take the offense just ask him if he wants to go to bed and leave a cigg on the counter
You're incredible, and I'm drunk
5 am booty call not ok. The fact I actually went over definitely not ok. My vag needs to learn some control.
Yeah but now he has a wife. It’s going to be different this year
So what. We’ve banged every Thanksgiving since high school. She just has to understand it’s a holiday tradition
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