I just applied for an unsubsidized loan naked. I love the internet.
It just feels so wrong throwing away the condoms into her Hello Kitty trashcan
I knew she was going to get knocked up just by looking at her facebook pics
He taped the number 420 over all of his clocks
I can feel his 12 year old sister"s eyes barreling into my soul everytime I'm at there house..some how she knows I'm cheating on her brother or she's mad cause I stole her shirt.
I think I'm just going to up-end a bottle of wine and look through pictures of what my life used to be.
she just stared at nothing and then looked at me and goes, "that's a weird place to put the wall"
weekly advice from mom, "Drink vodka, it las hess calories"
Came so hard when I was riding him that I actually bit some of his chest hair off. He said I was the first girl ever to do THAT.
17. The number of times my one night stand told me he loved me.
I actually feel bad for him. He has me as a girlfriend and he's like a saintly cleanly person... And I'm over here telling him to jizz on my back and shit.
Dude did you see that video of yourself crying while bathing in vodka on YouTube?
he was really really nice, and I did coke off of his dong that night too
who gets drunk at chipotle by noon and then gets kicked out? this chick.
He passed out while I was riding him but stayed hard long enough for me to orgasm. He definitely earned the blow job I’m going to wake him up with in the morning!
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