Im in Brooklyn, he wasnt 23 or a musician pick me up
I can't go out tonight. I feel like I'm starting to party as much as Farrah on Teen Mom.
the girls on my floor started fighting over who got to keep the random hoodies that boys forgot in my room after sex
We met at my place after separate parties but the condom wrapper was red with hearts and said love. Does that count as a romantic date?
Well yea but it's the principle of the thing.. The fact that he could actually BE your daddy
I have bruises on the inside of my thighs from sliding down the stair case...thanks for encouraging that slut show
You went to jail last night?!
Just a little bit.
When this bachelor party is over and your life is in ruins, you have my permission to die.
I needed 3am water. Not 3am shots of rum.
She told me I should be proud of my dick pics, then told me she was in love with me, then I dropped her off at her boyfriend's. I was a new kind of failure tonight.
I'm drinking apple juice and champagne while watching crossroads..like the classy bitch that i am.
I need your opinion, is it ACTUALLY sweet that a booty call offered to walk me home with an umbrella because it was raining, or is that just low standards?
He was out clubbing with his SON. WHY did you let me KISS HIM? Also WHERE WAS HIS SON?!
woke up to two girls crawling on top of me forcefeeding me bacon. Best. Hangover. Ever.
He sounds like Chris Tucker and wants to eat me out when I’m on my period. If that isn’t love I don’t know what is.
Randomize
