yup put them legs up on your shoulders and eat her like some folgers
eat her like coffee?
he just kept saying that he had liquor dick..then he tried to fuck me without removing his pants.
so we told my parents we were going trick or treating. got high as shit at some playground. and then bought our own candy so we looked legit when we got home.
Hold on im havin a staring contest with my cat
You need to take one for the team and go bang a random sample of mexicans. Cause my internets broke and I can't google mexican foreskin stats.
Don't make me out to be the bad guy. You practically MADE me cum on your food.
I legit had to pull him off my car. Then he texted me saying 'take me places.' Shotgun getting that drunk tonight
I'll pick you up. Avoid slightly awkward no-we're-not-dating-but-I'm-still-screwing-your-son-after-2-years parental run-ins.
I fell asleep after the worst sex of my life and now I'm snowed in with him. SEND HELP. CALL FEMA. GET ME OUT OF HERE.
ugh... fuck pirate breakfast. my head is like thirsty.
My favorite thing about your netflix account "suggestions for you" section: Russias Toughest Prisons is followed immediately by Strange Sex
Definitely had a dick in my ass while watching the Seahawks win. Best NFC Championship game ever.
Every time we have sex, I feel his dick ramming my soul into submission. Problem is..... I LIKE THAT SHIT!
I ended up sleeping on a park bench. Never using Tinder again.
I am mildly hung over. Decided pants are very unnecessary right now.
Randomize
