Cuntadactyl. (n). A pre-historic dinosaur of Mandy-like features that is primarily identified by it's inability to play well with others and overall C-word demeanor. Physically, an unfortunate appearance.
I'm convinced that Kathy Griffin and Andy Dick are the same person...
you made pancakes with beer, you said they were good. then you threw up 15 minutes later
i feel like my eyelids need a kick stand.
three guys just busted into my bio lecture, yelled "happy st. patrick's day!", downed jagerbombs, and left.
How can people commit suicide when things like bagels exist
at least he lost his v-card with a bang... or should i say the clap.
It went from cuddling and watching blood diamond to watching the three of them snort an entire $80 bag of blow off the coffee table
I don't have any money, so I'm just gonna press my boobs against him for his birthday.
I want to play lord of the rings tonight. And by that I mean get really drunk, potentially lost, and go trekking through the woods or climbing shit. I want all of you there. You are the fellowship. This is a mass text. I am insanely high.
just texted my dealer that i could taste the blue but not the cheese. i said i could taste blue.
After getting all 4 of my wisdom teeth removed I asked my dentist how much better would I be at head
Was the guy in the cowboy hat kinda hot or have I just not had sex in a really long time?
I did wake up to a random meat and cheese plate next to my bed, that was a thrill.
What's a nice way of saying 'I wish I hadn't fucked you.'
Randomize
