ive never been actively dumping during the pledge of allegiance before today...
She had to put it in. I told her I was too drunk and didnt trust myself to not put it in her ass.
The lack of respect you have for your penis baffles me. I'd rather rub my ball sack on public toilet seats than stick my dick in some of those girls.
A simple 'no' would have sufficed
Their wedding is on my 21st birthday. I fail to see a way that this could end poorly.
I think my vagina is going to steal my keys and drive over there.
Hopefully she would park on my face.
Not sure if this is better or worse than the discovery that bourbon and hot chocolate is a viable combo
I'm sorry, but the "Hobbit Slam" has to be a sex move.
Cockoligist
Yes, one may refer to me as that.
I should make business cards.
I STILL HAVE A HARD TIME DECIDING WHAT TO WEAR IN THE MORNING HOW WOULD IT BE POSSIBLE FOR ME TO PICK A PAIR OF PANTS AND GO OH ILL JUST WEAR THESE FOR THE REST OF MY LIFE
Fucking shoot me with this y'all shit. You were in Texas for 2months you do not have an accent Madonna
I was totally pumped and so was my beard
Handcuffs. Recoverd. I'm a goddamn detective.
McDonald's and a car nap. I feel kinda human
Why is there a horse in the backyard?
I stayed at my gfs last night. This is all on you.
I feel like you're encouraging me to commit a felony.
I feel like you're wasting time.
Randomize
