The girl next to me in class is taking notes on woman's suffrage with a girls gone wild pen.
sitting in room practicing taking shots. has my life come to this?
just peed in the tub. didnt notice the passed out drunk guys there until a minute in
you kept saying 'its nothing a six pack wont fix' as they loaded you into the ambulance.
He said my breasts were God's way of making up to him for all the shit he's had to endure in his life.
On that note; HAPPY 21: THE SEQUEL from the back of an ambulance!!
and now that ive poetically compared your vagina to a nuclear missile, I hope youre prepared for this date.
Ok that kid was ether gay or 12 with a beard.
Me ending up in the fetal position in my shower is becoming far too commonplace. It's like a weekly therapy session
They need to leave so I can start drinking shamefully.
not now. havin a heart to heart with drunk fred flinstone
if elf comes on TV one more time i swear to god i will smash my brains out with this fruitcake
just woke up on the floor of my shower...it was still runnning
He threatened my life and my car because I called you. Are you sure you never slept with him ?
I just woke up on the floor with an empty handle in one hand and a piece of my ceiling in the other. #classy
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