I haven't seen Daniella all day...are you sure she was safe going home with that guy?
oh don't worry! i asked him if he was a rapist. he said no
I wish I could attach your penis to someone I like more than you.
We just had father kitten bonding time .. I was on the toilet , he was climbing the animal print shower curtain . It was magical
Alright, deal. Settling two drug deals before noon is what I call a productive day. I'm not even gonna go to math, I've practiced enough numbers for the day.
Just had an old man tip me two dollars and say "here put this in your baby fund, you'll have a baby someday" I swear this is gods way of saying GET ON BIRTH CONTROL NOW!
hot boxing the bathroom at chili's. where the fuck are you, it's too big of a box for just one person.
I don't really want to have sex with him, I'd just want him in a threesome. Does that make sense?
"But puppies!" Is not an acceptable excuse for trying to drunkenly steal someone's dog, you promiscuous midget!!
Do you know how hard it is to was the scent of sex from your hair in a gas station bathroom?!
Texas awaits me. And all the cocks that live there too.
he's had a change of heart. and besides, we could use a laugh.
oh, well, if you all need a good laugh, by all means endanger my life.
First night in my new apartment and I threw up in front of my neighbors door. Starting off this relationship strong.
I don't understand why you're so excited, it's my vagina not yours.
I would rather contract a disease that would eat me from the inside out and make me suffer painfully while it slowly killed me than to put myself through the 20 minutes of agony that is having sex with you ever ever again.
I think you're talking dirty but I'm not sure???
Good thing he's hot and my vagina likes him or I'd be at Dennys right now.
Randomize
