Its that time of year where we just drink more instead of dressing warmer
he said something along the lines of "fish can smell fear"
Public service announcement: if you would like to continue receiving blow jobs, a 25% increase in fuck-giving will be expected immediately, and you're expected to give an actual flying fuck at least once a week. Brought to you by the ad council.
This is my first time seeing you since your lesbian experience. SO EXCITED!
Nothing is worse than post drunken playoff baseball loss sex
WHAT THE FUCK JASON, WHY IS THERE A FREE BLOW JOBS BY LISA SIGN IN MY FRONT LAWN WITH MY PHONE NUMBER ON IT?! PEOPLE ARE PULLING INTO MY DRIVEWAY!
Much like Dre, I was forgotten about.
You mistakenly try to piss in a cactus bush ONE TIME and are forever dubbed cactus ass
He said he's in to distance fucking. I thought he just mean long durations. We fucked on a towel all the way down his tile hallway accross his kitchen and into the living room
YOU LEFT MY FUCKING BRA OUTSIDE OF YOUR HOUSE AND NEVER TEXTED ME.
I'm sure if Robin Williams was still with us he would want you to see boobs.
Okay I'm ready to show you that my weiner still works
Too late, I'm convinced it's broken
Does anyone remember last night? Because I still don't know why I now own a goldfish and a ceiling fan made of pizza?
Welp, no use in crying over spilt milk. I can't unbang her.
Where am I? And why the fuck did you leave me here?
Relax. I left you somewhere safe plus you have all my weed so you know I will come back for you.
Randomize
