so i completely puked my brains out. a lot. he held me up so i could brush my teeth. then we proceeded to hook up for the next four hours.
he's a keeper
the jolly green giant just puched the pope. halloween is the best.
After watching Cinemax for a few months, real porn just grosses me out.
If i apologize for punching you in the liver repeatedly will you explain where the grass stains on my shoulders came from?
i'm calling it girls night to make myself feel better but lets be real.....i wasn't going to get any guys tonight regardless
He's such a gentleman. He didn't even ask why my bra was flung on the seat of my car. He just took my snow brush, pushed it onto the floor and said, "Let's go I'm hungry."
I left my coke in the bird nest in the bathroom stall last night but I found it nest and all in my purse I love morning suprises
YOU LET ME GO HOME WITH CREEPY RON JEREMY?!?
...and?
I hate when you're right.
Um, would you be up for dick jousting? Stefanie is willing to pay 40 bucks.
Have you picked out a bathroom stall in which to fuck? Since you've got all this free time before her plane lands...
I maxed out my credit card last night on powdered donuts and beef jerky
We're going to ride the bus of mixed signals all the way to unrequited love town and that's where I'm going to live my life and then die.
The dick lei will go down in squad history
Why is there a waffle in the knife drawer?
The real question is why are there knives in the waffle drawer.
A true gentleman never tells. But yes, I did indeed get laid last night
Randomize
