you don't seem to understand just how much pasta i spilled on my bed last night.
He was eating her out on the elevator. What a good man.
this is the last time we take the mathletes drinking.
I've decided to tape numbers to the bottom of my heels corresponding to the number of drinks I can safely consume in them.
Chasing 100 proof soco w water from the tap at 4 pm, it's gonna one of those kinda Thursdays...
I loved your drunken rendition of "I wanna dance with somebody" that you left on my voicemail last night.
How unacceptable would it be to bar hop with a funnel in the square? It's Halloweekend and I plan on going hard. I can claim it goes w/ my costume. But I don't think the MIMITW uses funnels.
Im playing lifeguard in my own bathroom. How's ur night?
I am currently watching him baptize himself in a baby pool with a handle of belvedere while wearing a coral dress.
I want to have sex with him.
SO EXCITED ABOUT STRING CHEESE RIGHT NOW
i just realized... if i ever hook up with someone on my bed, we'll be fucking atop my animated batman themed bedset.
Should I go bust a nut on the beach
My lease is up and I've been thinking, it's only fair that the guys I've fucked in this apartment in the past year help me move. They enjoyed the bed, now help me move it.
That is our entire relationship. We match bowls and give each other head. What more could you possibly want?
Dude on the shuttle bus eating a Butterfinger and watch porn on his phone and doesn’t give a fuck who knows
We need to get on his level
Randomize