I may or may not have just visibly given him head in front of three young children and their mom. They all looked mortified.
I think we should make a list of challenges so that when stuff like that happens, we can check it off. Like a scavenger hunt for hoes.
it was just fiscally responsible to stop going to strip clubs where the strippers recognized me
Heated debate on which is worse. Pissing your pants or puking all over yourself
Mom just apologized for her lack of a gag reflex not being genetic.
What was your penis's nickname in high school? Also, what was it's theme song?
Its like a relationship where they cockblock each other.
My boyfriend correctly calculated the time I would be out of alcohol and showed up about four minutes after I'd run out with two bottles of wine. I think this is love.
At 27 it's no longer called 'slutty', it's called having a healthy sex life...
He'd pee in it. And since it's PBR I'd have no idea
i know i saw many looks of jealousy when i walked solo into subway carrying a cheesy gordida crunch after taco bell closing hours
I'm sure for most of the people, it was the one and only miracle they will see
Started crying to "that's the way it is" by celine. What the fuck uterus?!
He wouldn't shut up so I started sending him pictures of animal dicks
hooked up with him and then had a conversation with his ex about how we hate people who hook up with our exs...
Whenever I have a bad day I just look at the negetive pregnancy test I keep in my purse and remind myself things could be alot worse.
You smoked too much and passed out, didn't you?
You know me so well.
Randomize
