I have a feeling that after last night, i'm not just going to hell. i'm going to hell on a full scholarship. free admission bitches
How many pudding cups do I have to eat for it to count as dinner?
4.
is it bad that I sent her a picture of my penis on her husbands birthday?
In The Air Tonight was playing in the dentist's office. Had to stop the cleaner to do the drums.
One question: Why is your trash can full of blood and pop-tarts?
She stole my hamster. idk who she was, she just walked in and said she knew Keith so she stayed, drank 6 beers, and then stole Charles.
Just did an upsidedown spineboard shot. Gotta love lifeguard parties.
So a list of things I should stay away from bringing up at dinner with your fiance tonight?
1) you and I went to a strip club 2) i saw you topless at said strip club 3) i cried when we watched the Real World
Fuck I am starving. I don't think I've eaten in the past two days.
You didnt need to. Gin is like eggs, its a perfectly nutrionally balanced meal.
He's a cat fanatic .. That was not in the fine print when we started fucking
Just got caught staring at a woman breast feeding. My only response was, "She's so adorable".
I haven't been motivated enough for a shirt. And only half the day was bra-worthy.
How's Vegas?
Woke up with a sculpture of my own head. Been trying to find Ashley for two days. so pretty not too bad.
I legit feel like I had sex with Joey Fatone. Is that weird?
He texted me "sup", so I sent him that gif of the surprised guy and apparently it offended him
Randomize
