what's the vibe there?
extraordinary amounts of gine
you missed a midterm to shack? WOW. How desperate are you?
He ate me out. It was like watching him trying to win a pie eating contest
So I just walked into the bathroom, and there was this kid, talking to his mom, while taking a shit. I flushed the toilet next to him and heard him say into the phone, "No, I'm not. I'm in my dorm."
it was my 21st birthday. took an old mans walker so i could stay till last call. reasonable right?
FYI you just passed out mid-blow job. Consider this my letter of resignation.
I told her that I thought she needed an oral mammogram. With me being pre-med she bought it.
I feel like hell. The amount of black beans I found in my hair tells me I hit rock bottom
thanks for carrying me to bed.. and sorry for trying to roll down the hallway to escape.
so why was i the only one who woke up with ham stuck to my ass?
Just slept with a female bodybuilder. not cute. but it was like fucking hulk hogan with a twat. Beastly.
im so disgusted with myself. funny thing was i lasted 15 seconds. she benches 325
She said we couldnt stop drinking until there were enough bottles to make a fort. so we could have sex in our "bottle castle"
yes and no. im drunk but idk if im "blow marcus" drunk. call in like an hour.
Told my fifteen year old cousin's friend what to sext his girlfriend last night. He was scarred for life but she fucking loved it.
I can't hang out tomorrow. A boy wants to feed me ice cream and touch my boobs. Priorities.
Randomize
