Her little brother was home, so we had to hook up while playing hide and seek with him
The highlight of my Saturday night was singing along to the sound of music alone in my room.
We planned for the zombie apocalypse. In great detail. Of course there was booze involved.
What?? I'm covered in blood at the hospital, I atleast deserve a pic of someones boobs
I'll probably regret it tomorrow. But right now, accepting this $2000 credit card so that I can finance booty calls from across the united states sounds like a golden idea.
They were picking gravel out of my face for an hour. I think I took more out of the road than the road did of me.
Barfights against pavement aren't genrally won by people. Props.
Someone was asleep on the couch next to us and woke up. We paused and he yelled "gentlemen, behold! Sex!"
Seriously, it sounds like someone is torturing a dozen cats inside a Japanese techno club while a jamaican yells random hipster words through a megaphone.
I said that I'm avoiding parties and guys, and the freshman girl just laughed
Two cats fucking in the middle of the street. I sat there and watched in my car because I didn't want to cock block the male by honkin my horn.
2 girls slept in my bed with me. 3 more girls slept on a mattress on my floor. The furthest I got was cuddling. Here's my man card.
I dunno I mean I feel like I owe everyone an apology except the two people I punched in the face
I mean seriously, she can have his dick anytime and im over here salivating like a thirsty bitch.
Definitely woke up.this morning to a random girls head in my toilet and her mom knocking on my door.
just used my $120 dollar stats book for the first time to kill an ant... good thing i stole it
Randomize
